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- Free UK delivery
- 30-day returns
Size guide

Use the guide below to help choose the best fit for your T-shirt. Measurements are provided in inches and may vary slightly within the stated tolerance.

Measurement Guide
- Width: Measured across the chest, one inch below the armhole when laid flat.
- Length: Measured from the highest point of the shoulder to the bottom hem.
- Sleeve Length: Measured from the centre back of the neck to the sleeve hem.
- Size Tolerance: All measurements have an approximate tolerance of ±1.5 inches.
Fit Advice
- For a more relaxed fit, consider sizing up.
- Compare these measurements with a favourite T-shirt you already own for the most accurate fit.
- If you are between sizes, the larger size is usually the most comfortable option.
14th October 1066. One star. Terrible experience. Harold, 1066.
That's it. That's the review.
The Battle of Hastings didn't just end a reign: it ended the Anglo-Saxon era, reshaped the English language, and set the course of British history for the next thousand years. Harold, by any reasonable measure, had a dreadful afternoon. This tee gives him the last word.
The design frames it perfectly: BATTLE OF HASTINGS in bold distressed red across the chest, a single gold star out of five below it, and the review in clean white type underneath. It takes a moment to land. Then it lands very well indeed.
What you're getting
- DTG printed design in distressed red, gold star rating, and white review text on deep black, clean enough to read at a glance, funny enough to stop someone mid-street
- 100% ethically grown US cotton on a Gildan 5000 blank (5.3 oz, 180 g/m2), so the tee holds its structure and weight properly rather than going thin after a few washes
- Tear-away label for a completely scratch-free, irritation-free wear against the skin
- Classic relaxed fit with a crew neckline, comfortable for castle visits, heritage events, history festivals, or any Tuesday
- Gildan holds membership of the US Cotton Trust Protocol, so every purchase is backed by verified ethical and sustainable production standards
- Free UK delivery included
The gift angle
This one is almost always bought as a gift. History teachers, medievalists, anyone who sat in a GCSE history lesson and thought "someone should make a joke about this", it's specific enough to feel considered and funny enough to actually get a reaction on the day. Birthdays, Christmas, Secret Santa, or any occasion where "memorable" matters more than "safe."
On sizing
Classic fit, true to standard adult measurements. Size up for a looser feel. Full size guide on the page.
One star. Would not attend again.
Care and Fabric
Fabric 100% US cotton (preshrunk), 5.3 oz/yd2 (180 g/m2). Gildan 5000 blank.
Care instructions
- Machine wash cold (max 30C / 90F)
- Non-chlorine bleach only if needed
- Tumble dry on low heat
- Do not iron
- Do not dry clean
- Wash inside out to protect the print
